i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
