using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
