Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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