I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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