I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
