he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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