You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is Oprah even human
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
