brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
its not stalking. its research.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
