I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize