there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
