this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
