ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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