Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
