Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
