In the future we'll all be gay
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
