JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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