just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
