if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
