He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
