My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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