i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
