we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
