Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
