I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
