Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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