I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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