If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
