....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
