i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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