And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
