Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sober January is a disaster.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
