Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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