I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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