note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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