He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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