Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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