On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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