Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
