was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
