There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she told me i tasted like america
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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