I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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