WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
