do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
