They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
