I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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