Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
