when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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