At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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