The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The Olympian is in my bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
