she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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