So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
