shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm getting married
To pizza
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize