i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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