lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
