at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
