i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
