theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
