Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
